Awhile back I talked about the symptoms our son Bud had that led to us finally realizing that he needed emotional help.
Suffice it to say that one day Bud texted me from school saying, “I might as well kill myself.” Art and I read that as a suicide threat, so we immediately called the school and took action to make sure Bud was protected. Later, Bud asked me why we made such a big deal. “I wasn’t going to kill myself,” he told me. “I just said I might as well since nothing was going right.” Huh? Is that teenage logic? How am I, as a parent, supposed to know the difference? Is there a difference?
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:
When a child makes a serious threat it should not be dismissed as just idle talk. Parents, teachers, or other adults should immediately talk with the child. If it is determined that the child is at risk and the child refuses to talk, is argumentative, responds defensively, or continues to express violent or dangerous thoughts or plans, arrangements should be made for an immediate evaluation by a mental health professional with experience evaluating children and adolescents. – AACAP
In retrospect, now more than 3 1/2 years later, I believe we did the right thing. After we called the school, the vice-principal and Bud’s counselor immediately pulled Bud out of class and kept him in a quiet room until we got there. Bud felt that the treatment was harsh, but I know that the school was looking out for his safety, even if “bedside manners” were not the best. In addition, if this incident had not occurred, we might never have realized the extent of Bud’s insomnia or depression and he would not have received the help he so badly needed. I would encourage you, even if your child is a “drama king” to take any threat of harm seriously.
Since I originally wrote this post three years ago, we have had a few more cries for help from Bud, which called for medication adjustments, and therapy or lifestyle changes. Below is a list of some common warning signs for teenage (and young adult) suicide from Naami.org:
- Prior Suicide Attempts
- Talking About or Threatening Suicide
- Making a Plan
- Giving Away Prized Possessions
- Preoccupation with Death
- Signs of Depression, Hopelessness, Anxiety
- Increased Drug and/or Alcohol Use
If you notice any of these signs in someone you care about, please, at the very least start a dialogue with that person, or if possible, seek professional help.
For more information, you can visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
This is an informative article. I also wanted to mention that for some reason, young children have been known to threaten suicide also, and it’s scary. I think you totally did the right thing and I’m a big fan of the saying, “it’s better to be safe, than sorry” any day. Even though he felt you were over re-acting, has that action deterred him from doing it since? I’m sure now, instead of a text message like that when he’s stressed, perhaps now he might have found a different, better way to cope.
Visiting from the UBP and also returning the visit from my blog. Thanks for leaving a comment. =)
-Samantha
Thanks for the thougtful reply, Samantha. I didn’t realize that little ones could threaten suicide also. Bud is much better about thinking before he speaks now and he is also quick to come to us if his feelings are getting out of control, so all in all, I stand by our decision.
As a mother of a soon to be “tweeny” this is a topic that I often think about. Not to say that my daughter has any indication that this would be a potential issue as she get older, however I firmly believe that parents should be aware of the signs, just in case. Our kids are surrounded by so many other kids that may be experiencing this, that they may think this is normal behavior. My hubbs and I have an “open door” policy where there is no subject considered as off limits – just for this reason. Great post and thank you for sharing!
I can;t imagine how difficult this would be to deal with as a parent!
This is something that I have never thought about before since my kids are so young. But,this is really good information. Thanks for sharing.