The Story of the Office Fish


Once upon a time, there was the Instigator of all Things Fun.  Her name was Catelyn.


And Catelyn said to the friendly office witch, Mirasol, “We should get office fish.”  And Mirasol agreed.

Catelyn’s fish was named Panchito and Mirasol’s was Humberto.  Both fish were named after characters in a telenovella.


Soon they convinced the Basque intern, Saioa (pronounced Cy-owe-ah) to get her own fish. Saioa adopted Jose’ Carlos.  Unfortunately, she left him in her car overnight, and he died.  The next morning she tried to revive  him in the microwave (seriously), but it was a no go.  And so, a slightly wiser fish parent, she adopted Jose’ Carlos Dos.

Panchito was a sickly fish and just could not hold on.  He was replaced, by the absolutely fabulous Sebastian  Blanco.

Sebastian Blanco, wearing a crown

Teressa (the author)

Soon, the counter of the coins, Teressa, was feeling left out.  She wanted a fish too, but she did not watch telenovellas.  It was decided that Teressa should adopt a green fish and name it Tinker after her favorite Disney character, Tinkerbell.

But there were no green fish to be found.  So instead, she adopted beautiful Rufio.


Shortly, Humberto became ill.  The good witch tried to fix him, but to no avail.  Humberto had always been a badass, and as such, he did not want to die a slow, lingering death.  One day, when Mirasol got to work in the morning, she found that he had committed suicide by jumping out of his bowl.  And so came Ines.

Catelyn, being an excellent Instigator of all Things Fun, decided the fish should be bred. She adopted Paquita Palomita Blanco-Garcia La del Barrio to be a breeder-in-training.

Paquita-Palomita Blanco-Garcia La del BarrioInes, being the oldest female, and Jose’ Carlos, being the male with the largest bubble nest, were picked to be the first parents.  They were placed in an separate tank and thus the breeding experiment began.

Screenshot of the author's text conversation
“WHERE ARE YOU BOTH?!?!? The fish are totally breeding and Saioa was the only one that saw it!!!!!” “Crap!!!!!” “THERE ARE BABIES!”

But there were complications:

screenshot of the author's text conversation, part 2
“Jose Carlos ate all of his children overnight! But I sort of think they were dead anyway…”

But after some rest and renewal, there was also new hope:

Screenshot of the author's text conversation, Part 3
“We’ll just have to try again with less touching…!”

To be continued…

The above story is based on actual events that happened at my place of unemployment.  Names have not been changed, and no one is innocent 😉


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