Got back from Oregon last night. We drove about 26 hours over 5 days. Or, I should say, Art drove about 25 hours, 40 minutes and I drove the other 20 minutes. But that’s another story…
The purpose of the trip was for Art to get some clarity on decisions he needs to make regarding schooling, employment, etc. Also to spend some time visiting with his parents, whom we stayed with while in Oregon.
Art asked me to go along for moral support, as much as anything else. I hadn’t had a break in a couple of months, so I jumped at the chance to get out of town and away from the norm.
I had taken a week off of my day job, but didn’t even consider taking a break from writing/blogging. After all, this is what gets me up in the morning, and I’d blogged before while on vacation.
I didn’t take into account spotty cell service or an 11 hour “scenic route” drive on Wednesday. That was okay. I shook it off. No blog post due until Friday morning anyway. I stayed up past one AM at the in-laws catching up on email and writing.
Thursday I was up and ready for the three hour drive to Portland – groggy and hormonal. We drove straight to the college where Art had an appointment with the veteran’s counselor to discuss how his GI bill benefits would work in Oregon (each state has slightly different rules).
Art pulled into 30 minute visitor parking and took off for his appointment. I was anxious, guessing (correctly) that he wouldn’t be back in under 30 minutes. I fired up the laptop but apparently the campus-wide wireless didn’t extend to the parking lot. I know this doesn’t sound like much, but it was enough to send me over the edge. I’m sorry to say I completely lost it.
By the time Art got back to the car I had calmed down slightly, but was still mad and fuming at him. Why had he drug me here? I should have just stayed home.
Fortunately there was free wireless at our motel and I was able to crank out a respectable blog post before Friday morning.
On the way back to the in-laws on Friday, Art reminded me that he had never called this trip a “vacation” and that I was the one who had jumped at the chance to go with him. “What were your expectations?” he asked. “Because it’s obvious you had some.”
I had to stop and think about that for awhile. It slowly dawned on me that I had expected rest, relaxation and plenty of time to blog, but I had never communicated any of that to Art. And if I had been honest about my expectations he would have helped me to see how unreasonable they were under the circumstances. But Art was very understanding once it was all out in the open and left me alone all day Saturday to blog if I wanted or hang out with the family if I wanted – my choice.
So, in retrospect, we should have discussed expectations before the trip. Most likely I still would have gone, but I wouldn’t have been so uptight. Also, I should probably have arranged a couple of guest posts for the blog and pre-scheduled everything so internet access wouldn’t be such an issue. Then I probably would have had a more relaxing trip.
As was, Saturday was very relaxing and with all that driving I finished 5 books in 5 days, so I’m way ahead of my book review reading and was even able to read a few books just for fun!!
2 thoughts on “Expectations”
I’m glad you both made it back safely 🙂 its funny how while in the moment we have blinders on and think “how this effects me”. I mean expectations are different for everyone, especially when we think “vacation” but say something horrible had happened on your trip and Art was no longer around, it moves those blinders to show you that even though blogging is important it never would fill the void of not having your husband. You would be thinking I can’t believe I was so worried about blogging instead of the quality time you had with just your husband and yourself. We all get wrapped up in expectations and how when things to go according to “our plan” it throws us off kilter. I don’t know if this can be avoided? Or is it just human nature?
Regardless you’re back safe and sound 🙂 would love to get caught up soon. 😉
You’re absolutely right, Deb. And we did have a good time on the trip – once I adjusted my expectations. Can’t wait to see all the photos from your trip!!