Monday morning I woke up not feeling that great – achy and tired. It had been a long night with not a lot of sleep, but I was in a pretty good mood. I stretched out, did my devotions, said my prayers and went into the kitchen to make breakfast. As I was stirring my eggs I got an email notifying me I was no longer in consideration for a job to which I had recently applied (the “Skype” job, for those who are wondering). Immediately, my whole mood changed. I continued cooking breakfast, tears streaming down my face. The day felt infinitely darker.
A few hours later I had to wonder. What had changed? Yesterday I didn’t have the job and I was in a good mood. Today I didn’t have the job and everything was crap. Why was I basing my self-confidence on what someone else thought about me? And how many times have I done so in the past?
Here’s a few highlights:
- Being rejected by my first and second crushes and dumped by my first high school boyfriend. I became fearful of dating because if someone got to know me they probably wouldn’t like me anymore. Art and I met in high school and when he started pursuing me I thought there was something wrong with him because he was interested in me. I’d like to think that I am more mature than that now, but if Monday is any evidence, I have a way to go.
- Having my ideology called into question. I have some strong religious convictions as well as some strong political ones and I always find it interesting that disagreeing with me makes some people feel they have the right to attack me personally. In the past I would use those attacks as an excuse to question everything I ever believed in. Now I will not allow myself to get sucked into an argument. I am willing to discuss opposing beliefs in a constructive environment, but it is my opinion that we should all just agree to disagree and try to get along.
- Losing (a promotion or job opportunity, contest, board game or whatever). I seriously used to believe that if I didn’t win that meant I wasn’t good enough. What I soon realized was that there is always someone better or another newer game to beat. Personal goals are more important than the arbitrary standards that other people or society set for us.
“So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” – Hebrews 10: 35-36
What situations or people cause you to lose your confidence and how do you deal with that?