Blue Balloons: A Dream of Hope and Faith

I had a dream.  A big dream.  And I want you to know about it.   You might think I’m crazy, but I am claiming God’s promise to me and my family and the only way to do that is to tell everyone about it.

About a month ago, I dreamed that I was pregnant.  Pregnancy is physically impossible for me, but we all know that dreams are symbolic. Dreammoods.com says: to dream that you are pregnant symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Now, as most of my readers are aware, things have not been too great financially for the Morris Family over the past 2-3 years.  Both Art and I have felt that this time of trial has been preparation for something awesome that God has in store for us.  This dream confirmed that for me.  But there was something extra special about it.  In the dream, I was 8 months pregnant.  That means the delivery is soon.  Maybe even this week.  I am so excited to see what God has in store for us!!

Over the past month we have been hit harder than ever.  First Bud got food poisoning, then Boo, Art and I all got bad colds, which for me turned into a day in bed with the nebulizer.  Our short sell fell through, but by the next day we had a buyer.  My emotions have been on an hourly rollercoaster ride that has been sheerly exhausting.  Even with the dream in my memory, it has still been very difficult to retain my hope.

Merriam-Webster defines hope this way: to expect with confidence.  Well, I’m sorry to say my confidence has been shaky at best.  But Romans 5: 3-5 reminds us: we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I asked Art the other day “What if it doesn’t get better?”  And he reminded me that it always gets better.  We just have to have faith.  So I’m trying to take my hope to the next level.  Because faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

blue balloons dream
credit: aleksejs.busarovs under creative commons license

So after a few nights of nightmares, two nights ago I had another dream.  I was walking down a country lane talking to God.  He said He knew that I had had a hard time lately, so he wanted to send me a sign to make me feel better; to help me see that our situation was about to get better.  I looked to my right and saw a blue balloon tied to a mailbox.  That was my symbol of hope.  In my dream I felt so honored that God sent me that little symbol.  I instantly relaxed and started enjoying the beautiful scenery around me.  As I approached the end of the lane, I turned a corner and all of a sudden, there were hundreds of blue balloons filling the sky.  It still makes me cry just thinking about it.

Please hope with me.  Have faith with me.  Our dream is about to be.  I believe.


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Where is Your Confidence?

Monday morning I woke up not feeling that great – achy and tired.  It had been a long night with not a lot of sleep, but I was in a pretty good mood. I stretched out, did my devotions, said my prayers and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.  As I was stirring my eggs I got an email  notifying me I was no longer in consideration for a job to which I had recently applied (the “Skype” job, for those who are wondering).  Immediately, my whole mood changed.  I continued cooking breakfast, tears streaming down my face.  The day felt infinitely darker.

A few hours later I had to wonder.  What had changed?  Yesterday I didn’t have the job and I was in a good mood. Today I didn’t have the job and everything was crap.  Why was I basing my self-confidence on what someone else thought about me?  And how many times have I done so in the past?

Here’s a few highlights:

    • Being rejected by my first and second crushes and dumped by my first high school boyfriend.  I became fearful of dating because if someone got to know me they probably wouldn’t like me anymore.  Art and I met in high school and when he started pursuing me I thought there was something wrong with him because he was interested in me.  I’d like to think that I am more mature than that now, but if Monday is any evidence, I have a way to go.
    • Having my ideology called into question.  I have some strong religious convictions as well as some strong political ones and I always find it interesting that disagreeing with me makes some people feel they have the right to attack me personally.  In the past I would use those attacks as an excuse to question everything I ever believed in.  Now I will not allow myself to get sucked into an argument.  I am willing to discuss opposing beliefs in a constructive environment, but it is my opinion that we should all just agree to disagree and try to get along.
    • Losing (a promotion or job opportunity, contest, board game or whatever).  I seriously used to believe that if I didn’t win that meant I wasn’t good enough.  What I soon realized was that there is always someone better or another newer game to beat.  Personal goals are more important than the arbitrary standards that other people or society set for us.
Where is your confidence
Photo courtesy of Omar Reyes on Flickr Creative Commons

“So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” – Hebrews 10: 35-36

What situations or people cause you to lose your confidence and how do you deal with that?

 

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